A (Gift) Basketful of Memories
59Oh boy. When you answered the ringing doorbell that evening little did you know what was in store. It is heavy, large and you can barely see the front steps when you try to lug it into the house. And goodness, is it green! In fact, embarrassingly more so than some of the potted plants you have out on the patio. You cannot quite put your finger on it right now, but there is a faint whiff of a certain something in the air...a strange new smell that is driving Spike nuts as he tries to paw his way over and around you.
Now your mobile phone tinkles and an eager voice demands to know, "Elise, did you get it? I placed the order and they said they would deliver within two days to any part of the country. Isn't it great? I luuuurve the leprechaun! Isn't he just the cutest thing you've ever seen?" You sneak a peek at said figurine and personally think that he looks as if he might bite if you tried to move him. "Err, yeah, sure, real cute. Hey, thanks, Dorothy. I owe you one." "Oh, don't mention it! It was my pleasure. Hope you folks have a blast! Happy St. Paddy's!"
Never mind that you have never celebrated St. Patrick's Day in your whole life. Or that no one in every single branch of your family tree is even remotely Irish. "I guess it's the thought that counts," you sigh as you proceed to investigate the rest of the contents in an attempt to determine the source of that strange odour. First to go would be the Chucky-look alike of course. Perhaps on a better day and in a better get-up, he could even pass off as remotely adorable. But in a badly sewn leprechaun suit, sporting hastily pasted shamrocks, well...
Ah! The potatoes! Unceremoniously dumped into a sack (green, no less) along with the onions, parsley, turnips and carrots, half the spuds were already turning a most unhealthy shade of brownish-black. You read the enclosed recipe card: Four Easy Steps to a Hearty Irish Stew. That explains it. The recipe calls for a helping of mutton as well. "Good thing no one thought to include that in the basket," you shudder. Oh no, wait! You dig deeper and pull out a Styrofoam tray packed with dripping cuts of meat, poorly shrink-wrapped. Ugh!
And as you finish clearing up the mess and crawl into bed later that night, you make a mental note to check the retailer that handled Dorothy's order. At least the one good thing to come out of this whole episode (other than an almost broken bottle of whiskey, two heads of semi-limp cabbage, a loaf each of potato and soda bread, a dozen pints of Guinness, a green leprechaun's hat filled to the brim with melting chocolate coins and a box of cookies adorned with toxic-looking green marzipan clover leaves) would be the first-hand knowledge of which retailer to avoid when it comes to future gourmet gift baskets orders.
That night, you toss and turn, unable to nod off as easily as usual. Josh is oblivious to your restlessness and appears to be already sound asleep. Looking at him, your thoughts turn to happier memories...such as the time your parents sent those wonderful Christmas gift baskets for your first Christmas together as husband and wife, away from the comforts of your childhood home. How exciting it looked, imaginatively packed up on a sleigh and how you enjoyed cooking up a storm with the many lovely ingredients included for a delicious Christmas morning breakfast. Pancake and waffle mix, strawberry preserves, blueberry jam, maple and chocolate syrup, jars of gourmet coffee...ooh, and the little extras-the freshly-baked gingerbread men and chocolate chip cookies in the form of little snowflakes, a bouquet of berry sprigs and hollies! The zesty peppermint candy canes and chocolate snowmen lasted throughout the celebrations and into the New Year.
Oh! That reminds you of those other holiday gift baskets received a couple of years later. The one that Josh's colleagues had so thoughtfully put together to welcome the newest member to the firm. How could anyone forget that assortment of goodies so professionally packed with everything needed to usher in the New Year with a bang? The CD compilation of popular tunes, the party crackers, foil hats, streamers, the boxes and bottles filled with a combination of delightfully unhealthy snacks and the pièce de résistance-champagne! Plus a pair of fluted champagne glasses, still perfectly intact.
As you lay there, it dawns upon you that you have thoroughly enjoyed these and other holiday gift baskets received throughout the years. The arrival of almost every basket is intricately linked with the significant milestones you have celebrated in life. Granted, a gift basket for St. Patrick's Day is a real first but you know that it stems from the eagerness of one PTA member trying to be nice to another. And in her eagerness to do so, poor Dorothy had somehow stumbled upon what must be the only unreliable gift retailer in the country. "The least I could do is to try a little honesty in return," you surmise and finally drift off to sleep.
The next morning dawns bright and early. Almost too bright and early for you but you persevere and pick up the receiver anyway. "Err, hi, Dorothy? About that leprechaun..."
